Note: This text was originally written in Turkish on november of 2024, then translated to English and edited for clarification on september of 2025.
For me, tea parties mean “I’m here” and “I’m here for myself”. The history of my solo tea parties date back to 2019/2020, where the event originally served to remind myself that even in the lowest points in life, you can be hopeful as long as you can have a cup of tea. I was at a very low point in life and without anyone noticing, I was wilting away alone in my room. I was aware of the problem, yet I was far from the solution to it. I wanted to extend a hand to help myself in peace.
If I’m not wrong, it was when in 2020, when I was influenced by the self-care trend on the internet that I took the initiative to do good things for myself. To open up a window and greet the sun, to light candles, to meditate, to write letters to people and even to organize tea parties for myself. These tea parties began on a small dinner table at our family house back in my town, where I would pour myself a cup of tea in my favorite tea cup. In time, this became a more refined and sacred activity for me. I started to make finger sandwiches and bring home some store bought cakes to try out. I found out that I have a liking for lemon cheesecake and velvet cake. I usually coupled this activity with people watching from the balcony, writing in my journal or reading a book.
I want to keep this culture alive for myself. Adolescence brought darker days than I can now fully recall. During the days where I felt like I hated myself the most, even the slightest amount of hope kept me alive. Even today, bad days come and go, but I taught myself how to be resilient. I will never go back to that point in time where I was this emotionally vulnerable. And these tea parties, are the reminder of the dark days of my lowest point in life and how, bit by bit, practicing self-care and cultivating hope helped me out of this dark hole. I just remember that with each tea party I throw for myself, my life gets a bit better than the last one I had. I grow and become a better person each time.
Another great message this phenomenon holds for me is the importance of not waiting for the perfect moment. It is absolutely possible to have a great day for yourself, even if nothing special is happening. Because I grew up in a house with poverty and financial worry, I always held the belief that I should forever keep the delicate things to the right moment because I may not find the same opportunity ever again. Now, I unlearned this lesson as an adult. I know that even if I may lose something of value, it does not mean that I cannot take thoughtful action to get it back. It was a hard truth to learn but, the perfect time for my favorite sticker or glittery pens never came. I grew out of it and I ended up sparing myself the fun of it. It is definitely the perfect time to light the candle you bought, to drink your favorite tea, to wear your most comfortable pijamas. You can take pleasure from random moments in your life. And for this reason, tea parties hold monumental importance for me, they are personal reminders.