Waaaaahhh I am sooo happy!!!!! I enjoy being alive so much!!!ꉂ(˵˃ ᗜ ˂˵)
It was always meant to be. I don’t know why I waited so much, maybe I just needed that little push that showed me that egl fashion is infact, doable.
Now I shall recount the complete tale of how me & lolita fashion came to be and then discuss what I like about the fashion (as well as some things that I don’t), I’ve been actually interested in j-fashion and kawaii culture on a whole since like 2015 and I’ve been interested in elegancy and victorian stuff since like 2019. The signs that I like this subculture is all over the place, even visible from my older posts, I mean the post before this is literally me talking about tea parties I held in my room since 2020 - which we will get to - and the list I’ve had for my interests which I think I created back in 2023 lists and I quote; J-fashion, gothic literature and the Victorian Era.
I’ve been a Hello Kitty girlie since the very beginning of my existence and of course this alongside introduced me to an entire culture of addiction to anything delicate & cutely designed; Pusheen cat, Rilakkuma, Tamagotchi… As a Cookie Swirl C and other unboxing channels watching teeny tiny baby, I grew up accustomed to the absolute consumer culture/aesthetic that is Kawaii. Everything was just beautiful, colorful and delicate to the max. I believe the Kawaii Youtube was at its peak back in 2015, EGL was definitely quite popular maybe even more so than it is today with reality shows and other documentary style medias popped up in the west showcasing the style heavily during the 2010s, and we of course had the entire ‘’living doll’’ saga going on with youtubers like Venus Angelic (I am still grieving through the fact that the entire j-fashion and alt fashion community suffered a huge impact from all of the prejudice and hate directed towards them for their style because of these ragebait reality shows). So anyways, growing up this entire lifestyle was already engraved to me and I somewhat knew what Lolita fashion is about. I knew that coord meant outfit and Baby The Stars Shine Bright was an amazing place on earth very far away from me. But that was pretty much it. I’d occasionally watch youtubers complaining about Angelic Pretty dresses or save a pin or two on a pinterest board as style inspiration. I was literally a child back then and my major interactions with the internet came from a tablet so it was quite limited.
Fast forward to 2019, I’ve grown up to be an absolutely chronically online, edgy vocaloid listening and manga collecting teenager. One particular manga which I held the first 3 volumes of was ‘Black Butler’. I thought the cover looked really pretty and I had already had a liking for the Victorian dresses I saw on pinterest, so from the moment I picked it up I absolutely fell in love with it. It was like literally the prettiest and most gorgeous thing I had ever layed eyes upon. I read each volume so slowly so I could have more time to gaze over the beautiful compositions of lace, frills and other elegant decorations across the page. I’ve been buying all of the translated volumes as soon as they release and have been in love with everything about the manga since then. And I believe this isn’t an uncommon experience too. There’s probably a great chunk of lolitas out there who are inspired by the Black Butler series or another anime where they wear similar period or straight up egl fashion. So, I ended up adoring the style even more, this time embodying the victorian & elegant lifestyle too. I started watching proper etiquette and tea party videos on youtube - I also got more exposure to the style through this because most tea parties were held by the egl community - to replicate them myself at home. I also had access to much more, I could make small purchases, DIY some things etc. So the result was a portrait of a girl who was very far away from any egl community, secluded in the countryside drinking English breakfast tea alongside some finger sandwiches before her parents came back home in her bedroom where she would put up her handmade lolita fashion inspo posters printed on a4 paper and taped on the wall. This would be the state between me and the egl fashion for the next 5 or so years.
This year in October, I’ve decided to finally do it. I was finally going to commit to it. Since my adolescence I’ve moved to a bigger city, started to live away from family (Who ofcourse would not have been supportive) and I rediscovered the magic that is social media which also included the local egl fashion community. The real spark ignited within me from eyeing some dresses on the internet and finding a community in my city at around the same time. This led me to an interesting rabbithole of discovering more about j-fashion overall and finally learning the names of all of the major brands and some icons within the community, completing my knowledge gap. So in the end, I bought a taobao dress for a suitable price and paired it with printed colorful tights, a rectangle headdress and some wrist cuffs. I was going for OTT sweet lolita but the budget cuts are quite obvious so it’s just a more casual sweet coord with a subtle mermaid theme going on. I am actually quite happy with it! it’s just lacking the over the topness that we are often accustomed to in the sweet style. Maybe to an expert in the field, it is absolutely ita but I think my dedicated research upon the subject has made very hard to fall for ‘the common pitfalls of beginner egl’. Alongside my new OP, I also bought a ticket to a meet up. Prior to the event, I had made a friend just by chatting within the group so, we went together. It was a magical place for me. I enjoyed looking at all the coords people were wearing, everyone was so gorgeous and you could clearly see they actually put in effort to make their coords pretty. I had spoken to other people there and got to know some of them and everyone was so nice. I hope to join even more meets, I'm especially looking forward to tea parties because they are just the best!
I may have even made it into a bit of an obsession too. It is just one entire chunk of internet history that goes back for a very long time, the fashion itself started in the 70s and there is so much discussion about it taking place on the internet, especially from the 2000s that it is just so delightful to read. I love reading the livejournal posts and all the independent blogs the lolitas made about their experiences with wearing the fashion. I am still very, very far from the people who just look at a dress and go ‘Oh this is the Angelic Pretty Vertical Pintuck JSK from 2004!’ I have not even concerned myself with anything brand so far, I’m barely holding on to second hand taobao dresses for dirt cheap because that’s as far as my budget goes.
What interests me most about Lolita fashion though is the potential that is within it and what it stands for. The subtext which the fashion contains is the idea of femininity and cuteness that is subtracked completely from the male gaze and societal expectations. It’s dressing really beautifully completely for yourself. It’s a modest fashion, yet in the most freeing way possible. There is nothing sexy about it. It’s simply eating cake, drinking tea and going on walks with a parasol. And just the silhouette of it is so flattering to any and all types of bodies that it makes it near impossible to look bad in it! This many frills and lace can never make anyone look bad in it when it is so easy to fail in coordinating regular trendy clothing. It is unique and alternative which both comes with downsides but also with quite considerable upsides as well. People will approach you more than usual just to tell you something about your outfit, for me most of the time it’s just been old ladies coming to tell me that I look pretty. For so long, I’ve been avoiding showing up in society completely or wearing clothes that made me feel ugly just to avoid wearing anything revealing or emphasizing the female body. The amount of times I’ve been trying to find something that did not try to give the hourglass silhouette to my body is infuriating. We also know that the beef between feminism and women’s clothing goes very back. It was up to the point where I actually stopped wearing anything feminine completely and tried to go for the dark academia look which was still modest and did not try to emphasize a particular body shape but rather an academic look focused on elegant v neck sweaters and button up shirts with trousers or skirts worn with tights and boots. It didn’t really feel like me though. I had received so many compliments wearing the fashion and had fun overall but in my heart, I was longing for the original kawaii look my inner child has been begging for. Once I rediscovered Lolita Fashion and looked into the mirror to see myself wear it for the first time, I finally felt beautiful. I felt pretty and cute, I was wearing a work of art on my body and instead of trying to fit into the clothing, the clothing actually fit me and what I wanted out of it. I was being defiant but I did not mind it at all because it was a beautiful deviance. Now I see so much potential from wearing the fashion alone. There is just so much you can do just because you chose to wear a good outfit. It’s basically art. Most people see lolita fashion as a hobby that merely involves frilly dresses and petticoats; however, Lolita is far more than that. With a community that values creativity and effort, Lolita fashion has a profoundly artistic and detail-oriented culture. From fashion design to coordination to photoshoot composition, there is just so much you can do to benefit from wearing a beautiful outfit. On the most basic level, you can take incredible photos with some basic poses or start a youtube channel where you present yourself wearing your coords. You can match up perfectly with the place that you are visiting and become a part of the ambience, ex. Going to a museum and wearing a classical coord.
In the end, there is just so much to learn from the lolita fashion and its vibrant community. I wholeheartedly believe it is an incredible thing because of its rebellious and feminist subtext as well as its community based and creative values. There is still so much for me to learn and this is what I’ve learned just by starting. As a new member myself, I have found that writing about the subculture and revisiting old blog posts are my favorite ways to connect with it beyond simply dressing. There is so much to discover and experience within Lolita culture beyond wearing the fashion itself, and at its heart it’s an art nurtured with care, attention, and love for every delicate detail. I feel very privileged to be able to partake in it and be my authentic self.